Top Secret Parent Talk About Santa

00:05:17               So a part of this conversation that I read about on Facebook is based in the idea of Santa as truth and Santa as legend, and I was able to find it. So I’m going to actually read it out because it’s a bit lovely. So this particular parent says when your child is of an appropriate age, whenever you see that dawning suspicion, that Santa may not be a material being that means a child is ready,

00:05:49               ready for this conversation. And she says, I don’t know, I’m saying she might not be a mum, could be a dad. She says, I take them out for coffee at the local cafe or wherever we get a booth. We order our drinks. And the following pronouncement is made. You shall have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller,

00:06:13               but I can see that your heart has grown too. You are a very generous and thoughtful sibling. You’ve been very caring with your friends and you’ve been very helpful with mom and dad around the house. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you’re ready to become a Santa Claus. You have probably noticed that most of the centers, you see a people dressed up like him,

00:06:44               some of your friends might even have told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that because they aren’t ready to be Santa yet, but you are. And it says, we then have a conversation with our child to choose someone they know, and to be Santa for that person. The child’s admission is to secretly, deviously find out something that the person needs and then provide it,

00:07:13               wrap it, deliver it, and never reveal to the target where it came from being center or being a center. Isn’t about getting credit. You see it’s unselfish giving. And I love this idea. I love this idea of sitting down with my child and explaining that Santa came from a real person who did a beautiful act of giving and caring. And it was so beautiful that the community held onto that act of giving.

00:07:46               It became a legend and the reason why Santa lives and the reason why Santa is real because Santa is within all of this. We make him real. We make him real by continuing those acts of giving kindness and caring to one another. So Santa is real. Santa is in us. And now that you are old enough, you too can be Santa.

00:08:15               You can be responsible for giving, loving and caring. You can be responsible for bringing that joy to someone else who still believes in Santa. And I look forward to having this conversation. I think soon with my oldest child, because as a very thoughtful, sensitive individual, as many gifted children are, I think he will really recognize what that legend brings to us as a society honoring,

00:08:49               caring, giving, loving in this way. And I think that he will really revel in having that responsibility of bringing that joy to someone else. I can see us getting him involved in making that happen for his younger siblings. I imagine when we ask them in the future, what do you want from Santa this year that he will enjoy being a part of that you may even ask them himself.

00:09:20               So what are you going to ask Centre to bring you this year? And I think that’s going to be a very special moment for us and for him. And then as each child gets a bit older to have that very special moment with them as a family and also bring them in on that bigger conversation of what does Christmas mean to us? What does Christmas mean to our family and think even for yourself as a parent,

00:09:52               why do you do it? What does it mean to you? Certainly it’s about spending time with family. It’s about showing them. We care. One of the traditions that we have had as a family at Christmas is a game that we play. It’s a fabulous game and it’s a game about gifts, but there’s a twist at the end, which makes it actually not about the gifts,

00:10:20               not about the thing. So I’ll explain it to you. Imagine you’re all gathered on Christmas day and you’ve got all your family over and you’re all sitting down. You’ve had your Christmas mail and then everyone brings out little gifts that they have bought in preparation for this game. Now, the idea is everyone brings half a dozen little gifts. Now it’s not about the value of the gift.

00:10:49               And you’ll see why in a minute, but everyone puts the gifts on the table. So you have this table over overflowing with little gifts. Then you get out a set of dice and you roll the dice and you each take turns going around the table, rolling the dice. And if you’re a particularly big family, as we have been some Christmases with everyone making it,

00:11:10               we have had two sets of dice going around the table. It’s as pure carnage. So you roll the dice. And if you get a double, so two twos, two threes to fours, you’ve got to get two of the same thing. If you’re all to of the same thing, you get to pick a present off the table and put it in front of you.

00:11:28               But you do not open it. You pass the dice on to the next person. They roll the dice. Sometimes you get to, sometimes you don’t and you pass it on to the next person. You’ve got to do it quickly. And so the next person may get a double. And if they get a double, they get to pick a present from the middle of the table.

00:11:47               So the dice goes around the table like this, and you keep rolling the dice, picking gifts. Every time you get double. Now, eventually the gifts run out, but you do not stop rolling the dice at any time in the game. Even before the gifts have run out, it is perfectly acceptable. Nah, absolutely encouraged to take a gift from someone else.

00:12:12               Now, if you’ve got little people at the table, of course you do have to gauge this a little. If they’re in on the game, it’s a lot of fun. If they’re a little bit like don’t take my presence, they can be tears. So a word of caution there. However, the idea is you roll the dice, you get a double,

00:12:29               you take a gift either from the table or from someone else. Now, as you can imagine, if you took a gift from someone else and they rolled a double will, they may well want that gift back. And then someone else on the table might decide, well, actually I won’t get, get that gift. And so we have had years where we have had one or two particular gifts that have gone from one end of the table to the other end of the table in a bit of a game to see who could get that particular gift.

00:12:58               And we have had years when it’s been quite funny to actually everyone takes, say grandpa’s gifts or often if you take someone’s gift, then they’ll take one off you. And it becomes a very funny game of stealing gifts, as awful as that sounds out loud, I’m sorry. It does work. And it’s a brilliant so that you keep rolling the dice.

00:13:29               You’ve got no gifts left. We will often put a timer or say right, 15 more minutes of dice rolling. And then you get to open. Whatever is in front of you. At the end of that time, after 15 minutes of rolling the dice and taking a gift from someone, someone else, and then take them maybe taking it back, or maybe they might get it from,

00:13:50               from somewhere else on the table. And because sometimes people end up with a big pile and, and people at the table like, hang on, you’ve got too many gifts and I’ll take one from you or, or all sorts of shenanigans can occur. But the funny thing about this game is at the end, when you finished rolling the dice, now this is gone on for some 20 or 30 minutes.

00:14:11               By this point, often you get to the end of the game and everyone opens their gifts only to find out that the one gift that has gone back and forth across the table for like 10 or 15 minutes being stolen from one person. And then the next ends up being a roll of toilet paper. And it’s hilarious because it’s not about the gift it’s about the game and the gifts are often silly.

00:14:35               Things like that. A roll of toilet paper, a box of tissues, maybe a few chocolates, maybe a little kit. There’s usually some nice gifts as in something that’s a little bit cool. And then a whole bunch of funny gifts or just something that’s very unexpected and not anticipated. And of course that just becomes the next joke is because you’ve been spending all this time,

00:15:02               fighting over a roll of toilet paper. And it’s a great opportunity on Christmas day to laugh, to join in the game of, of giving and taking. And that is Christmas, I guess, but at the end, realizing it’s not about the gift. It’s about sitting at the table together, laughing and playing because for me, that’s what makes Christmas,

00:15:27               it’s that sitting at the table, laughing and playing, hanging around. Yes, eating lots. I’m definitely a food loving person, but also just Moochie and watching that Christmas movie or this year, we’ve got hot weather here in Australia. We’ll be having a swim on Christmas day. So whatever your traditions are and whatever conversations you have with your children about Santa,

00:15:56               as they get older, as they ask those questions, it’s an opportunity for us to let them in, to move from believing in Santa, to being Santa, from being a child. And to some extent, being swept along on Christmas day, to becoming a young person and having a sense of input around some of our traditions and what we do on Christmas day and being a part of that preparation,

00:16:29               because now they’re a center too. So I hope that you have a lovely Christmas after what has been a very intense year. And I hope that you get a lot of laughter and joy on your Christmas day, because I know that Christmas can also be a very challenging time for some people. So thank you very much for joining our gifted kids this year.

00:16:55               It has been incredibly exciting to start the conversation about giftedness. And I greatly appreciate everyone who has come on the podcast so far. We’ve got some wonderful guests lined up already for next year, and I’m very excited to be bringing them to you. So have a wonderful Christmas, have a wonderful holidays. And I look forward to continuing the conversation next year.

00:17:19               Bye. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway in the comments for more episodes, you can subscribe and to help others find our podcast. Please leave a review. You can find show notes and more resources@ourgiftedkids.com and connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. See you in the same place next week.