How are you going? Like, really? 🤔
It’s been a really busy year and all of a sudden, I feel totally smashed.
Throughout the year we expend so much energy navigating parenting our gifted kids, extra energy. That by this time of year, I’m a shell of a human wandering around the shops using the last fumes of energy I have getting ready for Christmas day. 😩
Last week our kids had a week of swimming at school which meant an extra load of laundry every night and an extra load of really tired, hungry kids every night. My husband was also away working out of town for two days, I had three volunteer commitments at school, two social commitments, a child home from school one day, and eight personal or family appointments… work to do and the usual domestic load…
Admittedly, I got home from taking the kids to school on Thursday morning, sat at my desk to work and just cried. 😭
I sent a teary overwhelmed rant to a friend in an attempt to purge the overwhelm and rationalise ‘what’s wrong with me?’ before collapsing on the couch with my unwell child and binging on Rescue Riders together for a couple of hours.
It’s all either of us had in us.
Our kids are knackered too.
Gifted kids, like all neurodivergent kids, need accommodations in life and education, that they don’t often get. They’re constantly using up extra energy to navigate a world inside a box from outside of the box.
They get tired too.
Kids communicate through their behaviour… they get grumpy, fussy, hard to rouse from bed, hard to get to sleep because their so wound up, hard to play with because their fuse is shorter…. It’s all just a bit harder.
Hard for them. Hard for us.
No wonder we’re all frazzled.
I was going to do some social media etc this month and talk about how we all need permission to make life easier for ourselves and ironically, I had to make life easier for myself.
- I canceled what I could, asking myself, do we really need this?
- I rescheduled what I could, asking myself what can wait until January?
- I delegated what I could, asking myself, do I need to do this?
The left-over jobs went on a to-do list, and I started with the easy stuff so I would get a quick sense of accomplishment!
Sometimes I need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me… sometimes I reach capacity because there is just way too much…
…for anyone. 🤦♀️
Let alone the added load of complex kids and families trying to navigate a world not designed for us (I’m not sure our modern world is actually designed for anyone!! But it certainly is harder for those that don’t easily fit into it!).
Over the last few years, my family has taken steps towards making life easier, and simpler, especially at Christmas. 🎄
If you need permission to make life easier this Christmas, here it is…
- What do you actually want more of in your life?
- What do you actually want less of?
- What do you actually love to eat, and love to do at Christmas that brings you joy and energy as opposed to sucking it out of you?
- Are you taking on the load of extended family? Why is this so often left to one person? Does it need to be?
- Are you going into debt? Stressed? Tired?
- What would you and your family actually like Christmas to look like?
I give you permission to make Christmas what you need Christmas to be, for you. 🎁 Not what other people think Christmas should be for you.
I came across some memes from ‘becoming minimalist’ on Facebook, they said:
“We don’t have to continue holidays traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and tired.” – Rachel Jonat
And I thought, YES! YES!!!
I also loved another one of theirs,
“Let’s give each other the gift of not having to exchange gifts.” 🎁
Hallelujah to that! 😍
Especially if you are gifted or neurodivergent, the task of Christmas is a really big one! It’s an executive functioning nightmare!
How can we change it to meet our needs?
As I’ve written this blog I’ve realised this is what our new ebook is all about, (like, I think I wrote this as a reminder for myself!). So, if you need help to figure out what Christmas looks like for you it will take you through figuring that out.
But this didn’t start out as a sales pitch, just sharing a weary vent, so if the idea of another book overwhelms you, just start with those questions above.
❤️ Let’s take a moment to validate our collective exhaustion.
❤️ Let’s take a moment to give each other permission to opt-out of the things that really aren’t working for us.
This Christmas I will be prioritising getting outside in nature with our kids, going to the skate park, riding bikes, the beach, the pool… my holiday intention is to keep it simple, eat well, get outside and move our bodies.
What’s your holiday intention?
What does your family need? ❤️❤️