I feel so drained right now.
I just finished interviewing a new psychologist for my kids and retelling the past few years has sapped me of all my energy. It’s so hard carrying the mental load of everyone’s appointments, challenges, struggles, wins and issues.
I’m at my mums eating ice-cream and drinking coffee, it’s not pretty.
I don’t know about you but I have clocked up enormous hours in speech therapist, occupational therapists, psychologists, and many other therapists offices since becoming a mum (not to mention the hours of driving!).
It’s the mental load and just when I think, maybe it’s nothing, let it go Soph, they are ok, no-one else thinks something is wrong, I remember all the times I was right, which was like, ALL the times and I can’t let it go, so off we trundle to go get answers. 🤦🏽♀️
I freaking hate being right. It’s exhausting.
With three very different kids going through a variety of stages and phases and challenges, there always seems to be a piece of the puzzle we still have to figure out.
So this is what I want you to know, from what I have learnt:
Research actually confirms that parents are the best identifier of their child’s giftedness. That’s because we have parental intuition and we know our kids.It’s not only ok, but it is essential that you interview your therapists.
What does that look like? 🤷🏼♀️
It just means, go to the first appointment by yourself and talk to the therapist.
If you don’t walk out of there feeling like they get you, they get your kid, they get gifted and they have what it takes to help, then keep on walking. 🚶🏼♀️
On the way there, ironically, I was listening to Brene Brown interview Abbey Wambach about her book the Wolfpack (now on my wish list!).
They were talking about how women have been taught to follow the path, be grateful and meek.
Abbey was contesting this culture and talking about the bravery of stepping off the path, being grateful but asking for what you are worth and holding your space.
As parents of gifted kids, we are not on the the path we’re way off in the scrub with a machete making our own way and occasionally bump into another parent of a gifted kid in the odd clearing that we ungraciously fall, in a heap, into.
I am incredibly grateful for the wise and insightful professionals that I have in my kids lives that have worked with us as a team and helped guide our kids in overcoming so much. I am so grateful. 🙏🏼❤️
BUT. I also know that I wont settle for less. My kids deserve that and I will not engage someone who doesn’t respect and understand them and their quirks and sensitivities. If you don’t get gifted you are not for us.
And I’ve heard some horror stories about the ways in which, no doubt well meaning professionals, have misunderstood our gifted kids and made the situation worse.
I have gotten use to existing in the uncomfortable space of being that parent and I don’t care what other people think of me. Not any more.
I have seen my gut instincts proven right time and again and I have seen my kids grow, given the right support and nurturing.
So, know that it’s not you. It’s ok to want and demand more and shop around.
Thankfully, I was lucky today. It is hard to find these people.
You might ask yourself, how do I know, what do I do?
Ask for referrals from other parents of gifted kids.Watch how the therapist reacts when you say your child is gifted.Ask them if they have gifted clients. Yes, you can ask that!Do they understand that our kids are super sensitive and harsh old school discipline styles don’t work.Do they understand that your kid may know more than them on certain topics. How are they likely to react to that?They don’t always know better than you. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not right.Did you walk out feeling comforted? Understood?
It’s hard to think about the money and walk out knowing you’re going to have to spend more to find another therapist but the right therapist will help the situation far more quickly and cost you less in therapy in the long run.
I’ve got to go wipe the ice-cream off my face and get the kids from school but I’m now all sugared up and caffeinated so watch out world! Good luck!